The customer review was invented as a practical tool for sharing honest feedback about products and services. The internet promptly turned it into an art form. From sugar-free gummy bears that devastated thousands of digestive systems to one-star reviews of the Grand Canyon, online reviews have become their own genre of comedy writing.
The Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bear Apocalypse
If there is a single Amazon product page that deserves its own documentary, it is the Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears. The product, sweetened with lycasin (a sugar alcohol known for its powerful laxative effects), accumulated over 1,500 reviews that read like dispatches from a war zone. Reviewers described scenes of gastrointestinal devastation with the literary flair of seasoned novelists.
The reviews became one of the internet’s earliest viral consumer phenomena, shared across social media platforms millions of times. Amazon eventually moved the product page around, but the reviews persist in screenshots and compilations across the internet. The sugar-free gummy bears achieved a rare distinction: they became more famous for their reviews than for being an actual product anyone would intentionally purchase twice.
Bic ‘For Her’ Pens: When Gendered Products Meet Internet Sarcasm
In 2012, Bic released a line of pens ‘designed for women’ called Bic For Her, featuring slimmer barrels and pastel colors. The Amazon reviews that followed were a masterclass in sustained satirical writing. Reviewers feigned overwhelming gratitude that a pen company had finally solved the impossible challenge of women’s inability to use regular pens.
The reviews accumulated thousands of ‘helpful’ votes and international media coverage. Ellen DeGeneres featured them on her show. The pile-on was so effective that the product became more famous as a target of satire than as an actual writing instrument. Bic eventually discontinued the line, though whether the reviews directly caused the decision remains officially unclear.
How Did a T-Shirt With Three Wolves Become a Cultural Phenomenon?
The Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, a black shirt featuring three wolves howling at the moon, became an Amazon sensation in 2009 when a customer named Brian Govern posted a review claiming the shirt had given him supernatural powers of attraction. Other reviewers joined in, crafting elaborate fictional testimonials about the shirt’s mystical properties.
The review campaign pushed the shirt to the number one best-seller position on all of Amazon, and it has maintained a cult following ever since. The shirt’s manufacturer saw sales increase by 2,300 percent. The phenomenon demonstrated that the internet could turn literally any product into a cultural moment if the comedy around it was compelling enough.
Can You Give the Grand Canyon One Star?
The emergence of Google Reviews and Yelp for natural landmarks and public spaces created an entirely new genre of comedy writing. One-star reviews of the Grand Canyon include complaints about the canyon being ‘just a big hole’ and disappointing compared to photographs. Yellowstone gets dinged for smelling like sulfur. The Pacific Ocean has been criticized for being too salty.
One-star reviews of classic literature on Goodreads follow a similar pattern. The Great Gatsby has been described as ‘boring rich people being dramatic.’ Hamlet gets criticized for being ‘too indecisive.’ These reviews are funny precisely because they apply the framework of consumer complaint to things that exist on a completely different plane of human experience.
Amazon Reviews of Uranium Ore and Other Unusual Products
Amazon sells small quantities of uranium ore for scientific and educational purposes, and the review section is predictably magnificent. Reviewers post elaborate fictional accounts of their experiences, including claims of developing superpowers, accidentally creating small nuclear reactions in their garages, and using the ore to power homemade time machines.
The banana slicer, a kitchen tool of questionable necessity, has accumulated over 571 comedy reviews questioning why anyone would need a specialized tool for slicing bananas when knives exist. A gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk generated hundreds of creative reviews. The pattern is consistent: when the internet finds a product that is either absurd, unnecessary, or has a uniquely terrible side effect, the review section becomes a comedy open mic night.
Restaurant Owners Who Fight Back Against Bad Reviews
The rise of Yelp created an adversarial dynamic between customers and business owners that has produced some spectacular public exchanges. Restaurant owners responding to negative reviews have become their own content genre, with some responses going viral for their wit, savagery, or both.
Some responses have backfired spectacularly, with aggressive owner replies driving even more negative attention. Others have earned widespread sympathy, particularly when the original review was clearly unreasonable or dishonest. The entire ecosystem of online reviews has created a permanent public record of every dining experience, shopping trip, and customer interaction, turning the mundane act of eating at a restaurant into potential content for millions of strangers.
What is the funniest online review you have ever read? Share the link in the comments!