The American legal system operates on the principle that anyone can file a lawsuit about virtually anything. This is generally a good thing. Occasionally, however, people interpret that principle in ways that make judges question their career choices. These are real lawsuits that real people actually filed in real courts.
The McDonald’s Coffee Case Is Not the Joke You Think It Is
Before diving into the genuinely absurd lawsuits, the Stella Liebeck vs McDonald’s case from 1994 needs its reputation corrected. Liebeck, a 79-year-old woman, spilled McDonald’s coffee on herself and suffered third-degree burns over 16 percent of her body. She required skin grafts and spent eight days in the hospital. The coffee was served at approximately 180 degrees Fahrenheit, far hotter than industry standards.
Liebeck initially asked McDonald’s for $20,000 to cover her medical expenses. They offered $800. She sued, and the jury awarded $2.86 million in punitive damages, which the judge later reduced to $640,000. The case became shorthand for frivolous litigation thanks to a massive PR campaign, but the actual facts reveal a corporation knowingly serving dangerously hot beverages and refusing to compensate a severely burned elderly woman. It was not frivolous. Not even close.
The Man Who Sued Michael Jordan for Looking Like Him
In 2006, Allen Heckard of Portland, Oregon, filed a lawsuit against Michael Jordan and Nike co-founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. His complaint? People kept mistaking him for Michael Jordan, causing him ’emotional pain and suffering.’ Heckard, who was six inches shorter than Jordan and eight years older, apparently suffered years of unwanted attention from strangers who thought he was the basketball legend.
The lawsuit was eventually dropped, but not before generating international headlines and becoming a permanent fixture in every ‘weird lawsuits’ listicle ever written. The legal filing itself reportedly listed the damages with remarkable specificity, as though Heckard had carefully calculated exactly how much each mistaken identity incident was worth.
Red Bull Does Not, in Fact, Give You Wings
In 2014, Red Bull agreed to pay $13 million to settle a class action lawsuit filed by Benjamin Careathers, who argued that the energy drink’s ‘Red Bull gives you wings’ slogan was false advertising because the beverage did not actually improve performance any more than a standard cup of coffee. The settlement entitled qualified consumers to either a $10 cash payment or $15 worth of Red Bull products.
Red Bull settled without admitting wrongdoing, likely because fighting the case would have cost more than $13 million in legal fees and bad press. The case stands as a reminder that advertising slogans, no matter how obviously metaphorical, can become legal liabilities if someone decides to take them literally.
Can You Sue Yourself? One Prisoner Tried.
In 1995, Robert Lee Brock, an inmate at a Virginia prison, filed a lawsuit against himself for $5 million, claiming that he had violated his own civil rights by getting drunk and committing crimes that landed him in prison. The clever part? He argued that since he was a ward of the state and unable to work, the state should pay the $5 million on his behalf.
The judge, displaying admirable restraint, dismissed the case while noting that Brock’s ‘innovative approach’ to litigation was creative but legally baseless. Brock reportedly filed numerous other lawsuits during his incarceration, but the self-suit remains his masterpiece of legal creativity.
Who Holds the World Record for Most Lawsuits Filed?
Jonathan Lee Riches earned the unofficial title of most litigious person in American history, filing hundreds of lawsuits against an extraordinarily diverse range of defendants including the Eiffel Tower, Plato, Britney Spears, and the planet Mars. When the Guinness Book of World Records listed him as the most litigious person, he sued Guinness for including him.
Riches’ lawsuits were often elaborately written documents featuring creative narratives and imaginative legal theories. While none succeeded, they demonstrated a certain artistic commitment to the craft of nuisance litigation that almost commands respect. Almost.
Haunted Houses, Beer Commercials, and the Limits of Legal Complaints
A woman in Ohio sued Universal Studios after visiting their Halloween Horror Nights haunted house, claiming the experience was so terrifying it caused lasting psychological damage. She argued that the scare actors had been excessively aggressive. The case was dismissed, with the court essentially ruling that the entire point of a haunted house is to be scary.
In 1991, Richard Overton sued Anheuser-Busch for false advertising, claiming that despite drinking large quantities of Budweiser, he did not experience the tropical beach lifestyle depicted in their commercials, and beautiful women did not materialize as the advertisements seemed to promise. The judge dismissed the case, presumably while trying not to laugh. The legal system, for all its quirks, does eventually draw a line somewhere.
Which of these lawsuits do you think was the most outrageous? Vote with your comment below!